Wednesday, February 24, 2010


hye..this is me again..just to clarify everything this blog is the only place that i expressed wat i feel at the moment..n right know i feel so useless..i dun need ur pity or sympathy..just read watever im writing or posting coz its all bout im a student at a local uni..taking civil heart is not in this brain is not for i've decided to quit my poiter last sem is so not good..its so low..and i barely survived the elimination..i think i can do it much better next sem but no..its worsen..i tried to like this course but to no success..i just got back from a test..a mid term test..n it is like the first time of my life as a student that i submit an almost empty answersheet to the lecturer..i wrote almost nothing..i dont know what the fuck the question is about..i go to a total blank..i think im gonna score 5/40 marks..thats good for a dumbass person like me..this is not the first time..its recurring everytime i sit for test..i did stdy but..i just dont a fool..i really wanna quit stdying but there is somethings that stop mom just text me before i went to my test..she asks me to stdy very hard..n never give up..n im doing the opposite of wat she said..i'll broke her heart if i said im quitting stdy..but i cant do this anymore..this is just to much for me to handle..the more i tried to force myself the more it hurts me...n then i was thinking..if im gonna quit stdying..wat m i gonna do..just stay at home doing nothing??..than im gonna b a burden to my family..i dun want that..i'd rather died than just giving them trouble..i've made a huge mistake in my life..the very wrong course i take n it gets the best of me..civil just swallowed me taking civil coz it sounds promising for my near a bio student actually..n taking a physics major is the stupidest thing for me to do..i tried to stop feeling sorry to myself..try to b strong..but im getting weaker n weaker each day..i don't know wat i should do..i'm ashamed of the stupidest foolish no brain student of my entire class..they r so good that i feel so low talking to them..they know everything and i know nothing..i wish i can be like them..n not being ashamed of..but it turn out tell u d truth i've ever thinking of killing short minded of me right??..but i still have faith a small sparkle of faith n hope..just maybe..maybe that i can make this out alive..succeed like my other accepting everything..the truth a failure..a quitter..a good for n so sorry..i break ur heart n crushing down ur whoever is reading my blog..this is me..think watever u guys wanna off now..till next time..if there is a next time..

Friday, February 12, 2010

sorry 4 myself

and here i am again.feeling sorry for myself..this past few weeks have been a not so good for me..more like discovering who i am..i guess thats a little too late for it huh..
this is a story about a guy who has nothing to offer to the world..those who reads this post might think that he's just a pathethic good for nothing guy who is too ordinary that he feels useless in the bog world he's living..he's that short guy..very short..159cm..5'2..and he's 20 y.o..too short for his age that he feels so insecure..he can't model coz he's short dark and his pimplish that is one horible being..lool..he knows nothing..he's taking civil engineering and he's that dumb ass..he's not clever but he's so lazy to study..wonder what is on his loves music..A LOT..but he can't even play a fucking instrument and can't even sing a single note..pity him..he got nothing special about himself..nothing that makes him special that the world would recognize..he got a girlfriend before..but he dumped her..thinking that he's not good for that's wat i called stupid..i dont know what holds for him in the future..he suck's in his own life..i wonder he will survived his life or life just get the better part of him..all he can see about himself is just all the negativity and flaws..there's no extra special about himself..not the best looking guy..maybe the worst..i hope the world eats him alive..he's good for nothing..owh..i forgot to tell u guys who he is..he's the owner of this blog............................................RIP>>>>>>