Wednesday, February 24, 2010


hye..this is me again..just to clarify everything this blog is the only place that i expressed wat i feel at the moment..n right know i feel so useless..i dun need ur pity or sympathy..just read watever im writing or posting coz its all bout im a student at a local uni..taking civil heart is not in this brain is not for i've decided to quit my poiter last sem is so not good..its so low..and i barely survived the elimination..i think i can do it much better next sem but no..its worsen..i tried to like this course but to no success..i just got back from a test..a mid term test..n it is like the first time of my life as a student that i submit an almost empty answersheet to the lecturer..i wrote almost nothing..i dont know what the fuck the question is about..i go to a total blank..i think im gonna score 5/40 marks..thats good for a dumbass person like me..this is not the first time..its recurring everytime i sit for test..i did stdy but..i just dont a fool..i really wanna quit stdying but there is somethings that stop mom just text me before i went to my test..she asks me to stdy very hard..n never give up..n im doing the opposite of wat she said..i'll broke her heart if i said im quitting stdy..but i cant do this anymore..this is just to much for me to handle..the more i tried to force myself the more it hurts me...n then i was thinking..if im gonna quit stdying..wat m i gonna do..just stay at home doing nothing??..than im gonna b a burden to my family..i dun want that..i'd rather died than just giving them trouble..i've made a huge mistake in my life..the very wrong course i take n it gets the best of me..civil just swallowed me taking civil coz it sounds promising for my near a bio student actually..n taking a physics major is the stupidest thing for me to do..i tried to stop feeling sorry to myself..try to b strong..but im getting weaker n weaker each day..i don't know wat i should do..i'm ashamed of the stupidest foolish no brain student of my entire class..they r so good that i feel so low talking to them..they know everything and i know nothing..i wish i can be like them..n not being ashamed of..but it turn out tell u d truth i've ever thinking of killing short minded of me right??..but i still have faith a small sparkle of faith n hope..just maybe..maybe that i can make this out alive..succeed like my other accepting everything..the truth a failure..a quitter..a good for n so sorry..i break ur heart n crushing down ur whoever is reading my blog..this is me..think watever u guys wanna off now..till next time..if there is a next time..